'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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