Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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