I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
