Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
