I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want her autograph on my taint
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
