Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I can text with my tongue
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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