What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
