So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
