I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Shame - the story of my life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
