Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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