Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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