It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
