I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
