you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
