how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
