i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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