Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
