I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
