Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
pop tarts are not kleenex
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
