covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
