honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
