The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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