you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need a beard to bite.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
