I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
