Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
