Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
