Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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