see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
