my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
