quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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