i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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