Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
