Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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