you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
