i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
