Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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