We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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