In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
