She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
