i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
