Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How does one acquire holy water?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
