best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed