My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles