Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
