Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
