i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
