I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
