SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
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Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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