it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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