so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
