i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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