Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
