hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
