I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize