I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
