we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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