I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
