I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
His nipple licking is glorious
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