do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize