Do you still have your period?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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