My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize