Pappa wants mamma naked
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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