how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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